Real talk

I wrote this in an email to my friend Lara earlier this week, in reply to her comment that my posts on Instagram were fun to follow. I think it's worth sharing here, too: 

San Francisco is treating me well, but I feel like I should also post more realistic photos of my day. Something that captures the exhaustion I feel after trudging up a big hill carrying groceries because I missed the bus, the loneliness I feel when I get home on a Friday night and realize I have like 3 friends in the entire city, and I have to make an actual effort to coordinate plans with them, or the sheer panic I experience when I get lost inside the labyrinth of Facebook's offices. All the buildings are connected, but I keep having to go outside into a courtyard to reorient myself. It's exhausting, and I'm late to every meeting. 

Thinking more on it, I would probably add:

It's sunny -- and warm -- most of the time. There's endless food and drink, and I can get my laundry done for free. Best of all, I'm surrounded by some of the smartest people I'll probably ever meet. But I go to work for 8+ hours a day with 8,000 people and still manage to feel lonely. I'm optimistic I'll find my people, though. Everyone I've met is friendly and interesting, but it's just a matter of finding that connection. 

I'm being patient with myself, and I'm quick to remind myself how lucky I am to have a few wonderful friends here. 

But I just wanted to be real about what it's like right now. 

Tomorrow

I'm pretty sure I'm not leaving the house today. These last few days have been productive but exhausting, and I figure I need to rest up for my first day of work tomorrow. So far I've read in bed, talked to Neil, drank coffee, watched last week's Grey's Anatomy, showered, ate breakfast, sat outside, talked to my parents, booked a flight to Nashville for April and read a bunch of stuff on the internet, including this conversation between Anjelica Huston and Sofia Coppola, the only two women who are 3rd generation Oscar winners. 

All the orientation materials from Facebook keep reminding me to "be my authentic self." So instead of thinking up ways to be impressive I'm trying to make myself think about who I really am. Here's a very short list of stray thoughts on the topic:

• I'm smart. And I really want to add a ", but..." after that, but I'll refrain.
• I'm a good listener. 
• That said, I'm often so worried about acting normal in front of strangers that I forget to do things like listen when they tell me their first names.
• I make mistakes.
• I love helping people.  

That last thought about helping people is probably the most connected to the work I'm about to start doing. I don't claim to know a lot about technology (just ask Neil, or anyone who has watched me use iTunes) or even a lot about the inner workings of social media, but I do have empathy and a desire to help make other people's lives easier. Here's hoping I can use that to help make a difference at Facebook. 

My Monster

I'm currently reading Anjelica Huston's second memoir, Watch Me, which has prompted me to Google image search old Vogue covers and take a video tour of her childhood home in Ireland, which was purchased by Merv Griffin and turned into a hotel at some point, but it's now a private home again so I can't plan a trip there I guess. 

I wouldn't consider myself an Anjelica Huston fan -- I never gave her much thought and only really know her work in Wes Anderson films and of course, The Addams Family movie. In Huston's first memoir (A Story Lately Told) she mentions she loved watching the TV show as a kid. That'd be like me playing Allie Lowell in a Kate & Allie movie. (Still a possibility.)

Anyway, I'm enjoying reading about someone else's life, and it's reminding me about the importance of journaling, which I never actually do but how else can one remember details like which celebrity friends attended that dinner party in 1974? 

Speaking of memoirs, I think I'm going to adopt the name Cheryl Strayed gave her hiking pack for the hill upon which I now reside. Last night my friend Annie asked me about where I live, and I told her it was on top of the one of the biggest hills I've ever walked up. She said, "Oh, what's the name of the hill?" and without really thinking I said I was just calling it The Monster. I climbed The Monster three times yesterday, and this morning I woke up with burning calves. I'm sure I'll get used to it. I just have to. 

My goal today is to only climb The Monster twice. I already did one summit after a walk down to the coffee shop and a stroll around the flatter parts of this neighborhood. I made a late breakfast (and I learned that I have to light the stove manually in this apartment, which is a little scary for me) and am thinking about taking some mode of public transportation somewhere I haven't been before, like maybe where I see the Golden Gate Bridge up close. Then I'll meet my friend Mallory for dinner and I'll climb The Monster when I'm ready to call it a day. 

Day One

It's 57 degrees and cloudy, but I can see the blue sky. More importantly, I can feel the warmth of the sun on my face. I feel so guilty.

Yesterday I flew from Nashville to San Francisco. I escaped my sub-freezing, iced-in adopted hometown, left Neil and Ginger to bundle up and hold down the homestead, watched one pretty good movie (St. Vincent) and one terrible one (The Judge), and ultimately arrived at my pied-a-terre in Noe Valley.  

Update: I am now wearing sunglasses because it is so sunny. And warm. Forgive me, Nashvillians. 

I've considered starting a new blog to document my strange new life, but for now I'll just update this old haunt. I like lists even though it's probably lazy writing, so let's start with three things that are making me happy and two things that are worrying me: 

THREE THINGS THAT ARE MAKING ME HAPPY AND TWO THINGS THAT ARE WORRYING ME

1. This sunshine, you guys. It's so warm. 

2. I bought a mattress by lying on two options at Macy's and saying, "I guess that one." And I slept great last night. 

3. My roommates fed me last night and together we watched the last half of To Kill a Mockingbird on cable, which was only briefly interrupted by a DVR alert asking if we still wanted to record Empire. Good balance. 

4. Old Lady Ginger is mopey without me, and it's worrying Neil, which worries me.

5. Will I ever be able to walk up the hill to my apartment without feeling like I'm having a heart attack? This is a serious concern.

Update: It is now too warm and sunny for me to comfortably sit outside, at least in this outfit. What is happening. 

Books I Read in 2012

My 2012 resolution was to make time to read books. So to keep me on track, I decided to set a goal of two books per month.

I don't consider my resolution lofty, and I think I chose it because the goal-setting really happened at the beginning of February, and I'd only read two books in January. But setting the bar low actually helped me feel like a reading rockstar most months, and I enjoyed pushing myself to see how many books I could add to my list, which I kept in a note on my iPhone.

So what did I read? And what did I like? Revealing what I read feels like when a party guest stumbles upon your Case Logic full of CDs and judges you by them, Jewel album by Jewel album.

Here's the list. Most were first-time reads but a few were books I'd read before and wanted to visit again. While I enjoyed reading everything on this list (exception: Frank Bruni's book, which was self-indulgent and about 150 pages too long), I marked my absolute favorites with an asterisk.

January
Is Everyone Having Fun Without Me? By Mindy Kaling
Moonwalking with Einstein by Joshua Foer

February
Manhunt by James L. Swanson
The Myth of You & Me by Leah Stewart
Then Again by Diane Keaton

March
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Happens Every Day by Isabel Gillies

April
*The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
Bringing up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman

May
*The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach
*Just Kids by Patti Smith
Dear Daughter by Heather Armstrong

June
The Story of Charlotte's Web by Michael Sims
A Year and Six Seconds by Isabel Gillies
In Zanesville by Jo Ann Beard

July
Bowling Avenue by Ann Shayne
The Annotated Charlotte's Web by Peter Neumeyer
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

August
It's Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong with Sally Jenkins
*The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
*The Rules of Inheritance by Claire Bidwell Smith
*This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper
*I Was Amelia Earhart by Jane Mendehlson

September
Don't Let's Go To the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller
Tunneling to the Center of the Earth by Kevin Wilson
*Wild by Cheryl Strayed
One Day by Dave Nicholls

October
Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-time Eater by Frank Bruni
The Lifeboat by Charlotte Rogan
*The Scent of God by Beryl Singleton Bissell

November was a lost month. I didn't finish a single book, but I started and abandoned several.

December
Everything Changes by Jonathan Tropper
Off Balance by Dominique Moceanu
*Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
*Truth & Beauty by Ann Patchett
Swim: Why We Love the Water by Lynn Sherr

What's up for 2013? More reading, like Ann Patchett books I haven't cracked yet and a revisiting of YA novels I loved in middle school, plus a non-reading goal inspired by the last book I read in December. Still working out the details of that one, but I'm excited about it.

The End of Remembering

"Forgotten phone numbers and birthdays represent minor erosions of our everyday memory, but they are part of a much larger story of how we've supplanted our own natural memory with a vast super-structure of technological crunches -- from the alphabet to the BlackBerry. These technologies of storing information outside our minds have helped make our modern world possible, but they've also changed how we think and how we use our brains. "

This is a quote from Moonwalking with Einstein, which I'm currently reading. I picked this book up at my new fave local bookstore, Parnassus Books (co-founded by Ann Patchett, swoon) because 1. Heather Dixon is awesome and gave me a gift certificate for my birthday and 2. I've been thinking about memory lately, and that's what this book is about.

In the book, author Joshua Foer learns that there's such a thing as memory contests, and he ends up training for one because apparently having a good memory is more of a developed skill than an innate gift. His trainers and mentors parlay their methods, which include assigning personas to numbers and very specific images to designated places in the "memory palace."

Technology, however, has taken the place of memory in a lot of instances. I can't tell you how many times I have to check my calendar each day to remember what meetings I have, only to show up in the wrong conference room because I spaced on the thing I JUST READ.

The thing is, I used to have a great memory. And I remember assigning personalities to numbers when I was learning my multiplication tables. Seven was the teenage girl who went on date, six was a little brother in a baseball cap, and I don't remember the rest, but every digit 1-9 had a persona, and visualizing them and their actions helped me memorize. In high school Latin, I made up crazy mnemomics to help me learn the vocabulary words in my deck of flashcards. I'll never, ever forget that the word lapis means stone, because I would picture the "p" in the word flipping over to become a "d," which made me think of the four "lads" from Liverpool, who back in the day went by The Quarrymen. And what do you find in a quarry? Stones, duh.

Memory is a funny thing, and I'm excited to keep reading this book (yes, I'm already blogging about it a third of the way in) and tap into whatever's left of mine. I might start by memorizing all the phone numbers of my friends, because that's useful.

Notes from a Camera Roll...

Oh. Hey.

In case you are wondering, I made it through Unprocessed October and am quite happy I did it. The last week of October felt very busy, and I slipped up a few times, but I'm very proud to say I avoided candy and pretty much all refined sugar for the whole month o' weekdays. I did allow myself one Kit-Kat to close out the night of trick or treating on the 31st, but come ON.

Other news of late (in photos):

We got a new mattress (and Ging approves of Tempurpedic)

I reseeded our lawn

Baby Margot was born, and I became an aunt again!

I made a lazy but topical Halloween costume

It became November

I didn't wash my hair for like, 7 days (and felt sneaky)

Now I'm in Denver on a work trip and enjoying a few days away from my normal schedule. More to come on my Colorado adventures...

Another Lost Weekend! (kind of)

Hello, faithful readers! 

I spent the weekend in New England, visiting my bestie Katie and her sweet family. Katie's a vegetarian/darn-near-vegan, so I wasn't too worried about slipping too into processed food land. Plus, you may remember, I set out to do Unprocessed Weekdays only. 

I spent most of Thursday in airports, but I brought snacks to sustain me and was really happy not to have to buy shitty airport food. All in all, I was about five hours delayed to Boston, so when Katie picked me up armed with a leftover piece of pizza wrapped in foil, I thought nothing of gobbling it up. It was a slice (or two?) of veggie pie from Trader Joe's, so I choose to believed it was as unprocessed as frozen pizza could possibly be. 

The next morning Katie made us all oatmeal with walnuts, banana and honey. We took her baby girl to the pediatrician and then treated ourselves to the Whole Foods salad bar. I was on vacation so I didn't pay attention to the weight of grape tomatoes or anything (I'm usually pretty skimpy on the weightier toppings in an effort to save cash). I was pretty hungry so any food that looked remotely good went into my cardboard carton.

My favorite find was a Mediterranean tuna salad, which I think I'll make at home as soon as I remember to buy capers. Other goodies included cranberry quinoa salad, marinated mushrooms and shredded beets. 

Friday night I had my first experience with brown rice pasta. We tossed it with chickpeas and sun-dried tomatoes. I'm making a similar dish at home tonight and still find brown rice pasta a fascinating concept.

Saturday we went apple-picking! It was a quintessential New England experience, and the weather couldn't have been better. 

We picked a bunch of varieties and sliced some up when we got home. They paired perfectly with almond butter and crackers. I've really missed crackers, by the way. I'm sure I can find some decent unprocessed ones, but I love stone wheat thins and they have all kinds of mysterious ingredients. 

Dinner Saturday night was a mushroom burger at a local bar. It wasn't the best thing I've ever eaten, but I was getting my once-a-week red meat fix and it did the trick. I ate the bottom bun but not the top, and I helped Katie go to town on some sweet potato fries. 

Sunday I had a delicious Chicken Cuban sandwich from a local bakery. Not the worst thing I could eat but it broke some rules. Then I caved at the airport and ate dinner at Subway. 

Not the best track record I've recorded, but I still feel good and am back on the wagon: I had my usual breakfast, a big salad with chicken, chickpeas and tomato for lunch, and brown rice pasta, sauteed mushrooms and kale are on the menu tonight. 

And now for a gratuitous photo of the star of the weekend, Baby E! She sticks her tongue out when she smiles, and it's pretty much the best thing ever. 

Cheater cheater, pizza eater.

So, about that pizza…

Yesterday was a little rough on me. Part of it was my fault, as I stayed up way past my bedtime the night prior to watch Terminator 2. I studied it like I was going to be tested on plot, characters, symbolism, etc. It was actually pretty fun to approach a viewing that way. But it was also tiring. I didn't let myself sit on the couch for fear of nodding off, so instead I sat/lay on the hardwood floor, sometimes kneading my back and leg muscles with my trusty foam roller (still working on some ailments) and sometimes using it under my neck as a sort of uncomfortable (read: non-sleep inducing) pillow.

Anyway, my alarm yesterday morning went off way too early for my liking. As I mentioned, this Unprocessed October business is helping me sleep more soundly, but that deep sleep means it's a lot harder to wake up in the morning. I felt like I had a T2 hangover.

I had an unprocessed breakfast of steel cut oats with honey and strawberries and a fried egg, did a little work at a coffee shop, then headed into the office for a meeting with a Cashew Cookie Lara Bar in hand. Lunch time rolled around, and since it was Wednesday, my (lovely, generous) company was treating us to pizza from one of my favorite pizza places in town. I did my best to avoid the kitchen where the pizza boxes were, and I settled in to my desk with leftover quinoa with Sicilian chick peas and kale (are you tired of me talking about this dish yet)?

Then I got a phone call from a customer and it was just plain tough. I'm still processing (heh, no pun intended) the experience and picking out things to learn from it, but in short, it was confrontational, uncomfortable and frustrating for all involved. It completely drained me, and before I left the office for a quiet night at home, I sat in the empty office kitchen gnawing on room temperature pizza and reading a waylaid Reader's Digest. Not pretty.

I know I shouldn't beat myself up over two pieces of pizza. But I would be way prouder of myself if I had a shitty day and *still* took care of myself by sticking to the Unprocessed challenge. I'm not proud of giving in to pizza yesterday, but I am proud of the fact that I put some thought into getting back on track today, even though I'm spending most of the day in airports.

This morning I woke up and had another delicious, hearty breakfast of steel cut oats (with honey and strawberries) and a fried egg. After a coffee meeting I reheated a small bowl of my vegetarian chili (which was way more tasty after sitting in the fridge for a day) and prepared some snacks for the airport:

+ Cashew Cookie Lara Bar (duh)
+ hard boiled egg
+ corn tortilla chips
+ apple

On the way to the airport I got a text alerting me that my flight was delayed, so Neil and I went to Frothy Monkey and I ordered the Royale, which is smoked turkey and swiss on multigrain. I am sure that sandwich wasn't completely made of whole foods, but Frothy has pretty high standards for its menu offerings and I trust it was close enough to meeting my parameters for Unprocessed October.

Lots o' delays in air travel today, which is kind of a bummer, but I'm Boston-bound to squeeze babies and enjoy fall in New England. If I could just get out of the Philly airport...

I just scarfed two pieces of pizza.

...but I'm not ready to talk about it just yet.

Whole foods October

My pal Matt says it all. "Unprocessed" October is a misnomer. I'm eating all kinds of processed foods, like tortilla chips and honey (but not together) (but I might). I like to think of it as Whole foods October, with a little "f" in foods to keep it from sounding like I'm advocating a particular grocery chain. For the record, I haven't set foot in that place since starting this experiment. You can buys whole foods at Kroger, you know.

One of the reasons I decided to take on this challenge is because I knew I was doing too much mindless eating and making excuses to eat dumb stuff that I knew wasn't good for me. And the challenge is working. I'm not sampling baked goods in the office kitchen (you know, just to be polite), I'm not eating white rice just because it's in the rice cooker, and I'm not putting sugar in my coffee just because it's easier than buying a bottle of honey to keep at work. Oh, and I'm not eating out just because I'm too lazy to prepare something for myself.

Today at lunch a colleague asked if I felt any different -- like if I was sleeping better or felt more focused or something like that. I replied that I thought I was sleeping better but it still felt too early to tell. I've been thinking about that question all day, though, and I will say I am getting more comfortable with notion of not feeling full. It's hard to get that "stuffed"feeling when you're mostly eating vegetables and whole grains. You end up just feeling nourished and not much else. And I think I'm sleeping better because I stop eating earlier in the evening.

Food choices for today:

Breakfast: Steel cut oatmeal with honey and a fried egg
Coffee with honey and milk (like three cups)
Black bean and sweet potato tacos (yum!)
Cashew Cookie Lara Bar
Vegetable Chili

If the bread I bought last week is still edible, I might make myself an open faced sunflower seed butter and honey sandwich to close out the night. While I watch Terminator 2, because (confession time) I, um, haven't seen it. And I think I need to see it to be able to fully appreciate a performance of Terminator the 2nd on Monday night.

Day o' veggies

Here's a peek at the Sicilian chickpeas and kale I whipped up last night. Onions, garlic and raisins add a bunch of flavor.

I was planning to eat that for lunch but lunch bunch was a butternut squash dish I couldn't pass up. And it was supposed to be served on top of couscous, but I has some leftover spaghetti squash that needed to be eaten, so lunch was...squash on top of more squash.

And it was delicious.

I also snacked on some apple slices, but it didn't keep me full all afternoon. I ended up snacking on some leftover quinoa and chickpea n' kale goodness around 4:00 p.m. Then I came home and decided to try the vegetable pancake recipe I found. Here's a shot of the batter:

I used bagged broccoli slaw (mostly because it was on sale at the grocery store on Sunday) and added sweet potato and and onion. It was...not bad. Next time I'll saute the veggies before adding them to the batter, because they're difficult to cook evenly. I squeezed a little lemon on the pancakes and topped 'em with a dollop of Greek yogurt. No photo because they just didn't look too pretty. 

Other than oatmeal, honey, bananas, a fried egg and a Cashew Cookie Lara Bar, that's it for my food choices today.

Craving dark chocolate, but trying not to think about it. 

The First Lost Weekend

That Coke was damn good...

It did the trick, and I don't think I'll be needing another one for a while. Friday night I snacked on tortilla chips and homemade hummus before heading to the waffle party, and as a result, I wasn't too hungry when I arrived. I sampled some sausage chili topped with cheddar and sour cream and had a few bites of a Belgian waffle topped with apple compote and whipped cream. Yum.

I was up early the next morning and had a fun day of shopping for gifts in preparation for a trip to visit babies next weekend, Oktoberfest in Germantown (braaaaaatwurrrrrst!) and beer drinking on a patio. What did I eat, you ask?

Well, here are my Saturday food choices:

Breakfast: Toad in the Hole (unprocessed) and a veggie sausage patty (pretty much the most processed thing in my kitchen)
Coffee with honey and organic milk
Snack: Hummus and tortilla chips (unprocessed)
Lunch: Bratwurst with peppers, onions and mustard (most likely pretty processed, but it was from a high end restaurant, so maybe it wasn't so bad)
Snack: Butter pecan ice cream (all natural, but chock full of refined sugar, no doubt)
Beer: Fall Lager from the Yazoo taproom, in case you were wondering (unprocessed)
Dinner: Whole wheat linguine, kale, egg, parmesan and scrambled veggie sausage (not so bad until you get to that processed-to-bits veggie sausage)

Today I lazed about in the morning, catching up on recorded TV shows, and then I grocery shopped. Stupidly, I left my water bottle at home, and by the time I got to Kroger I was thirsty and craving something fruity. After checking every label on the fruit juice and smoothie bottles in the produce section, I gave up. I ended up with a cart full of unprocessed goodness, though.

I felt okay about veering from Unprocessed October for the weekend, but since I started cheating on Friday I told myself I'd get back on track Sunday instead of Monday. I'm proud to be able to say I did it, as illustrated by my Sunday food choices:

Breakfast: Steel cut oats with honey and sliced banana, poached egg, green tea (unprocessed)
Coffee with honey and organic milk (unprocessed)
Snack: Hummus, salsa and tortilla chips (unprocessed)
Lunch/Dinner: Wedge salad and a grass fed burger patty from BurgerUp (unprocessed)
Late snack: Greek yogurt with honey and homemade granola (unprocessed, with perhaps just a bit of refined sugar)

I also spent some time planning meals to make this week. Here's the rundown:
+ Sicilian chickpeas with escarole and caramelized onions (adapted: I skipped the sugar and subbed kale for escarole)
+ Slow cooker chili (I think I'll add sweet potato or pumpkin)
+ Vegetable pancakes
+ Unprocessed mac & cheese

The chickpea dish is about the easiest dish to make, ever, and it should go great atop the leftover quinoa in the fridge.

Here's to a good week of good eatin'.

Friday Night Cheater

I just made a decision. I am going to drink a Coke.

When I agreed to this Unprocessed October business, I only agreed to weekdays. But then my pal had to go and throw a waffle party at her house tonight, so I decided at of now, 6:00 p.m. Central, all bets are off for the rest of the evening. I need the caffeine to put a little pep in my step before party time, and I think I miss high fructose corn syrup. There. I said it.

I have no every intention of getting back to my Unprocessed ways pretty quickly over the weekend. Because really, it's not that hard.

Oh, quickly, here are my food choices for the day thus far:

Breakfast: a piece of unprocessed toast with sunflower butter and honey

Coffee with honey and milk

Snack: Lara Bar (Cashew Cookie, what what)

Lunch: Leftover quinoa stuffed pepper, broccoli, and a few tortilla chips with salsa

Next up, Coca-Cola Classic, waffles (which I'm told are made with buckwheat, but also probably sugar.

See you on the other side, friends.

Goosefoot superfood

I just made the most labor intensive batch of quinoa. Well, maybe not the most. I didn't have to thresh the seedheads or winnow the seed (thanks, Wikipedia!) But still.

I'd been thinking about making my first batch of quinoa ever for a few days now, ever since picking up a box of the stuff at Kroger the other day. And lo and behold, today's Eating Rules post was all about the real deal way to prep quinoa. It was a sign.

It turns out I don't have a wire mesh sieve that can hold teensy grains of uncooked quinoa. But I didn't realize that until after I'd already poured an unmeasured amount of cold water over the grain to rinse it. I had to improvise by squeezing it through my tea press, and then I spread it out over some parchment paper to dry. I finally got around to toasting, and then boiling, and I think it paid off. I ended up with a pot of fluffy, perfectly cooked quinoa, ready to be spooned into stuffed red peppers.

Here are today's food choices:

Breakfast: Toad in the Hole! I finally bought some unprocessed bread and this morning I fried an egg in the middle of a big fat piece. And I shook a little Tabasco on it, which has only three natural-ish ingredients (vinegar has sugar in it, but eh).

Coffee with honey and half & half

Snack: Banana

Lunch: Mixed greens with avocado, hard boiled egg, chickpeas and a couple grape tomatoes; brown rice with mushrooms, zucchini, bean sprouts and little chili sauce that had questionable ingredients (but they were in Korean, so I am blameless)

Snack: Apple

Dinner: Half of a leftover chicken breast and quinoa stuffed bell pepper, thankyouverymuch.

Dessert: Greek yogurt with honey and a little homemade granola.

Food confessional

Hey friends.

I woke up grouchy. My body was achy, I was hungry-but-not-hungry, and I didn't feel like facing the day. The morning at work flew by, and before I knew it was lunch time and I didn't have a plan.

Emma buys us lunch on Wednesdays (which is amazing when you think about it) and I was convinced I wouldn't be able to eat any of it. But I was running out of time before a 1:30 p.m. meeting, so I stepped into the kitchen at work and fixed myself a plate from the taco bar: rice, refried beans, chicken, lettuce and tomato. I ate standing up, and with every bite I was disappointed in myself for not knowing more about the food I was eating.

So I chimed in on the email thread my fellow participants in Unprocessed October have going...

I'm feeling really guilty about the rice because it had all this (presumably fake) flavoring on it. Is there some kind of #unprocessed confessional booth? Am I in it?

To which my co-worker Taylor replied:

I ATE A CHOCOLATE COVERED DRIED CHERRY AT WHOLE FOODS LAST NIGHT.

phew. I feel better now.

We can't be perfect. But we're talking about it, and I guess that's the whole point.

Food choices today:

Breakfast: Steel cut oatmeal with honey and sliced banana, and a scrambled egg

Snack: Lara Bar (Cashew Cookie, if you must know, and it has only *two* ingredients: cashews and dates)

Lunch: we already went over that #riceguilt

Snack: Chips and salsa from Trader Joe's (unprocessed!)

Dinner: Chicken breast and spaghetti squash with sauteed mushrooms, tomatoes and onions (basically a repeat of what I whipped up last night)

And now I'm off to drink some beer at pub quiz...

New hobby: label reading

Gone are the days of mindless eating. I'm now a label-reader. And I deny myself food that doesn't meet the rules of Unprocessed October. Oh, the baked goods I have had to pass up. It's tragic.

But something about being control feels good.

Today I discovered organic eggs are the shit, and that a scrambled one with a pinch of salt sits quite nicely next to steel cut outs with honey and blueberries in my bowl, and a spoon full of the sweet and savory is a lovely way to start the day.

Another discovery: honey in coffee. This isn't really new to me -- I put honey in my au lait at coffee shops, but sweetening my regular ol' office coffee with honey makes me enjoy my morning cup that much more.

Here's a rundown of my food choices today:

Breakfast: organic egg and oatmeal with honey & blueberries (did I mention it was awesome?), green tea

Coffee with honey

Lunch: Great Greek Salad and oven roasted potatoes from Kalamata's

Snack: Grape tomatoes and homemade hummus

Dinner: Sauteed portabellos, onions, garlic, tomatoes and steamed broccoli, plus another scrambled organic egg (what?)

Dessert: Greek yogurt, honey, homemade granola*

*this might be a cheat, but when Heather Dixon makes you granola, you eat it and you like it

I'm craving a grilled cheese on Sourdough like what.

I really need to make some homemade bread soon. Unless any of my blog readers want to tackle that for me? I'll trade you jalapeno hummus, made with love.

Here's my Unprocessed round-up for the day:

Breakfast: Steel cut oatmeal with honey and blueberries, green tea

Coffee with honey and organic half & half

Morning snack: Golden apple

Lunch: Quinoa topped with red beans and kale, salad with homemade vinaigrette*

Afternoon snack: grape tomatoes and homemade hummus

Dinner: Yet to be determined, but despite stocking up on healthy groceries I think Neil and I are going walk down to Frothy Monkey and try their new dinner menu. I know I can at least get eggs and Benton's bacon, and that will suit me just fine.

Things I avoided: Celebratory baked goods! I was tempted by a gorgeous-looking cheesecake and the most magical Magic Bars in the entire universe. Pretty proud.

* Lunch was provided by fellow lunch-buncher (and Unprocessed October participant) Cassie. When I emailed her to thank her for making an unprocessed meal, she replied, "So glad you enjoyed it! It was completely unprocessed except for the part where I closed my eyes and shook a couple drops of Liquid Smoke in the beans. It totally didn't get on the beans you and I ate though, I made sure ;)" Love her.

Unprocessed October

My friend Matt proposed a group of folks at work band together for Unprocessed October, which he explains quite nicely here.

I committed to eat only unprocessed foods during the week. On weekends, I'll put ketchup on things, or just squeeze the ketchup straight from the bottle into my mouth, depending on how much I miss ketchup.

My grocery list tonight consisted of lots of fruits and vegetables, steel cut oats and quinoa (which I'm pretty sure is allowed). Oh, and expensive, organic eggs, because I felt like I deserved them.

I don't know how this is going to go, but I'm looking forward to it. I volunteered at Jack and Back this weekend and over the course of two days I ate nothing *but* processed food and food-like items. It got me thinking about how refreshing it will feel to know exactly what I'm putting in my body.

But I'm also nervous I'll really crave a Coke this week.

Beach bunny haiku

Just booked my ticket

One week from today: sand, sun.

What books should I read?