Real talk

I wrote this in an email to my friend Lara earlier this week, in reply to her comment that my posts on Instagram were fun to follow. I think it's worth sharing here, too: 

San Francisco is treating me well, but I feel like I should also post more realistic photos of my day. Something that captures the exhaustion I feel after trudging up a big hill carrying groceries because I missed the bus, the loneliness I feel when I get home on a Friday night and realize I have like 3 friends in the entire city, and I have to make an actual effort to coordinate plans with them, or the sheer panic I experience when I get lost inside the labyrinth of Facebook's offices. All the buildings are connected, but I keep having to go outside into a courtyard to reorient myself. It's exhausting, and I'm late to every meeting. 

Thinking more on it, I would probably add:

It's sunny -- and warm -- most of the time. There's endless food and drink, and I can get my laundry done for free. Best of all, I'm surrounded by some of the smartest people I'll probably ever meet. But I go to work for 8+ hours a day with 8,000 people and still manage to feel lonely. I'm optimistic I'll find my people, though. Everyone I've met is friendly and interesting, but it's just a matter of finding that connection. 

I'm being patient with myself, and I'm quick to remind myself how lucky I am to have a few wonderful friends here. 

But I just wanted to be real about what it's like right now.