Possessed

I did something dumb. Yesterday I carelessly tossed my water bottle in my purse, and it turned over and leaked all over the place. I noticed it while I was sitting at the gas station filling up; I reached into my bag to grab a deposit slip from my checkbook only to discover the insurance check I had also tossed in there was wet and about to tear in two. Yikes! I carefully retrieved it and laid it out on the seat to let it dry. Then my thoughts turned to...iPhone. Double Yikes! It had also been carelessly tossed in my purse (I do this about 25% of the time, the rest of the time I carefully place it in a just-the-right-size pocket in my purse) and it was covered in water. Covered isn't the right word, but it was kind of coated in wetness. I wiped it down and fiddled with it, and it seemed okay.

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon, when I was sitting at my desk and watched my phone light up with Voice Control. All on its own. Eek! I have never done anything with Voice Control, so I didn't think it was going to do anything other than light up and piss me off. I made a mental note to talk to Neil about it later and moved on.

Fast forward to Emma Happy Hour. I was chatting with some co-workers when I got a call from Neil's mom. I was in a loud bar so I didn't answer. When I checked her message later in the car, I heard:

"Hey Emily, it's me. I got a call from you...you called the house number and I could hear you talking but you couldn't hear me, so I guess you called me by accident. I just wanted to call and check in. Talk to you later."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Accidentally calling people is a giant fear of mine. One time in college I got a call from a friend while I was having dinner with another friend, so I rejected the call. Well, I thought I rejected the call but I actually answered it, and she heard me say, "Oh, she's probably calling about happy hour tomorrow night. She'd probably go for beer whether I join her or not." I meant this to imply that my friend had had a stressful week and needed to unwind. My friend took it to mean I thought she had a drinking problem and was talking about it behind her back. Awesome.

Neil also had an experience where he pocket-dialed his mom while at a bar with friends in college, and he was just being a dude and talking about a girl he liked, with other dudes (you can imagine what was probably said), and his mom listened to the WHOLE CONVERSATION. And then called Neil about it later and they had the most awkward conversation ever.

So naturally, I was terrified to hear I had accidentally dialed my mother-in-law while at a bar.

I pushed my phone at Neil when we got to our dinner destination (a cookout in someone's home) and he immediately went into problem-solving mode. He asked our host, "Do you have any rice?" Before I knew it, he had placed my phone in a shallow Gladware container and poured rice grains over it. He totally took control of the situation. I adore him.

After my phone sat in a pile of rice for a while (the idea was that it pulled out the moisture from its watery crevices), Neil played with it a little bit and I learned that in addition to calling his mother, I called a friend I haven't spoken to in like two years and the Doyle & Debbie hotline. The call to my friend lasted all of 16 seconds, but I was on the line with Doyle & Debbie for a good six minutes.

My phone seems to be okay now, but I'm paranoid and irritated with myself. If I accidentally call you, I promise I don't think you have a drinking problem, no matter what I say.